Miracle in December Explained - An In-depth Analysis of Why We Should Be Thanking SM

*Well, Sehun-stan.. Please be ready, line up and read this ^^

So there appears to some confusion as to why SM is choosing to promote only 3-4 members for this round of promotions. BUT FEAR NOT MY FELLOW CHOCOBBS, I finally have finally discovered an explanation to it all.

At first, I, too, was confused, hurt, bewildered, saddened, etc. etc. by the sudden loss of our 7 (7.5? 7.66? 7.89? How much does half a Luhan/D.O. count?) beloved boys. But then, a thought dawned upon me. What if finally SM heard our desperate cries for salvation? What if they finally found a way to rid ourselves of the evil implanted in our hearts? What if they finally found the 'true miracle in December,' but to achieve it would demand a terrible cost?

p.s. As this post is to help those who have unknowingly strayed the path of light and goodness, it is gif and picture heavy.

Once upon time, we earthling were graced with the entrance of 12 extraterrestial beings into our lives. They appeared to be the epitome of perfection, and we worshipped them as the holy and pure beings they were.

The moment our lives changed forever...


But little did we know there was evil lurking in the depths of one of their fair facades. Oh yes, even unbeknownst to the EXO members themselves, A TRUE DEMON was biding its time.

And this demon goes by the name of
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훈

It started innocently at first. We all assumed for the best about our beloved 12. HE even appeared to be the sweetest, most delicate and unassuming of these 12.


The devil in disguise...







At first HE attempted all sorts of trickery and tom-foolery to get us to let our guard down, imitating the ones truly worthy of our love




And we, being the mere mortals with all our inherent flaws, fell for his trap.

But soon, HE started to reveal his true colors.




Leading us onto the path of sin




The beginning of the end....




We were wrong.





So very wrong.

Soon it became apparent to the other 11 EXO members that something was amiss. Some of us among the community cried out in desperation for them to save us from this abomination. And they tried to take action to prevent the evil from spreading.

Waging battle against evil




But he had grown too powerful, feeding on the life force of EXO fans. It appeared he was unstoppable :'(.

the face of pure evil
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But thankfully, on this blessed day December 2, 2014, an organization known as SM proposed a desperate last ditch plan to the remaining good members of EXO. It was a long shot. At best we would rid the world of all evil, but at immeasurable cost. At worst....well, the possibility is too horrific to even imagine.

So on the first day of December, 7.66 of the most powerful and battle ready of the EXO members took charge against the root of evil.

Not pictured: Luhan and D.O. with pompoms providing moral support

And after hours of brutal battle, at the cost of trained and seasoned EXO members, victory was achieved. But their sacrifice will never be forgotten to this day.

In conclusion, 7 members of EXO had to be sacrificed so we could live.

Thank you, SM, for showing us the ~*true spirit of Christmas*~

Mark this day on your calendars, this day of miracles.

AMEN


disclaimer: I don't hate Sehun.